Ch-ch-changes

Everyone's life post-college brings with it a number of changes and hardships. I feel like the Lord has brought me through some rough patches this past month and a half and is continuing to provide strength and wisdom every day.

I was blessed to know that I had a job post-graduation. My job search was practically effortless (Dr. Seybold sent psychology majors the information, the recruiter came on campus to interview...all I had to do was sign up for the interview and show up for it!) and I officially had the job a few months prior to graduation (granted that I did in fact graduate ;) I am very blessed. But the changes and transitions I had to make after graduation were still pretty difficult.

I work for Northwestern Human Services in Lyndora (Butler), PA, or NHS for short. I work as a TSS (therapeutic staff support) (yeah, I know..lots of acronyms..) part of the time and at the office in a program called Stepping Stones part of the time. I work with children with special needs; most of the kids have autism. For the TSS / wrap-around part of my job, I go a client's home to work with him on goals that have been developed for his particular needs. A person with a master's level degree called a BSC (more acronyms..), or behavioral specialist consultant (I think.) develops a treatment plan for each child that needs wrap-around services. The TSS's job (me) is to implement the treatment plan via behavioral techniques. Essentially, it's behavioral therapy for children who need it. Stepping Stones is a program M-F, for children ages 3-13 who have special needs (mostly autism). We make up a schedule each day, which usually consists of free play, circle time, library, sensory time, games, and structured group activities. I work with a great group of staff and I love working with the kids. Every single day is different, and every single day is challenging. I ask God for the strength and wisdom only He can provide to get through each day.

At the beginning, it was hard to adjust to a new job, especially one that was so stressful and unpredictable. Children are hard to work with in general...but children with special needs takes extra patience and effort. Not only is the job emotionally stressful, but it involves a lot of data-taking and paperwork. We have to track each child's progress at every session (both at Stepping Stones and during TSS hours)- circling, tallying, and timing, taking down notes...it's hard to do WHILE trying to work with the kids,.. and over a month ago, I was still trying to get into the swing of things at NHS.

Take all that, plus the fact that Dan had just left for Nashville for the whole summer, and I was not getting along with my family and wanted to move out more than anything (and at the same time, not being a good example and light for them as I constantly blew up and fought with them), I broke down and was very lost and afraid and needed the Lord more than ever. I felt alone, completely alone...and not secure in anything. I've been learning (mostly with my heart, cause we all know this with our minds) that being secure in Christ is the only way to get through and rise above hardship.

I will write about my new home in my next blog entry, and what's happened since I've been crying out to God for direction, peace, and strength. God is so good!!

First things first.

Before I write my first real entry, I want to say a few things about myself and what I'll be writing here.

I am a Christ follower, daughter, sister, and friend.
I am a recent college graduate (Grove City College class of 2010).
I have beautiful, wonderful friends (from high school, youth group, and college).
I have an incredible boyfriend whom I absolutely cannot wait to marry someday (let's be honest:)
I love my family, though a lot of times I feel like I don't belong.
I am real and honest, and I will be in this blog; no sugar coating here.
I love music almost as much as the air I breathe; I could talk about it for hours.
I am undergoing a lot of changes post-college, and it's been really hard on me.

I will be writing about my struggles, things I'm learning from God and life, people I love, blessings, things that make me laugh, things that make me angry, things that make me cry...and well, complete randomness from time to time. I will post some of my poetry as well.

I've entitled this blog "Learning to Love." Loving others is a lifelong journey that takes humility, wisdom, and strength from God. It's a CHOICE and a PROCESS to love God, love your family, your friends, your signficant other, a co-worker, a classmate, a stranger.. It's something we LEARN to do. It's something I will continue to strive to do, but will fail at daily. The jealousy gets to me, the pride gets to me, the anger and frustration get to me. I want to let go of a lot of those things and just love people freely. I can only do this with God's help. It will be a long, hard journey but I want to take it. Other than my relationship with God, relationships with others are the most important things in life, as they could have an eternal impact. I want to express a lot of this in my blog, hence the title.

Those of you who know me (but not quite well enough) might say, "Well it's easy for you to love people...your life is going great!" I will say that God has blessed me incredibly (I can't stress this enough) but I have had a fair share of struggles and heartbreak and weak times in my life. God is always healing me from my sin and my shame, and He is healing me from my brokeness. He will do that until the day I see Him face to face. So yeah, I am sinful, I am rotten. I need God's help to love others, just like everyone else.


Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I honestly don't think that I have much to say that be of great worth, but I appreciate those of you who love me and want to share in the blessings, hardships, and lessons of my life.

Mal